


Buy the Sky

by constancedobler



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), American Idol RPF, Kris Allen (Musician)
Genre: Adventure, Community: kradambigbang, Environmentalism, First Time, Future Fic, M/M, Romance, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-10
Updated: 2011-03-10
Packaged: 2017-10-16 20:58:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/169288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constancedobler/pseuds/constancedobler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years into the future, Adam and Kris have grown apart.  Adam's singing career has skyrocketed, while Kris' life has taken him on a different path.  Adam contacts Kris and finds him involved in a conflict that may not be solvable.  Meanwhile, Kris discovers that Adam's perfect, glamorous existence may not be all it is cracked up to be. The two of them get swept up in an adventure that may be the only thing that can save either of them from their personal demons.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Buy the Sky

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Livejournal for KradamBigBang's first round.
> 
> Thanks: Many, many thanks go to [info]pinkygoldfish, who read an early draft of this story and correctly pointed out the painfully clunky dialogue, OOC moments, and various other problems. This fic is cleaner, stronger, and a much better story thanks to her. In addition, she listens to my RL stories and is all around a great person and my partner in fangirl flail.
> 
> Also thanks to [info]rockinhamburger , who read this thing, found some more mistakes I'd missed, and convinced me to stop calling it the Big Sigh instead of a bigbang. I appreciate her insights as well as her passion for justice and making the world a better place.
> 
> Last but not least, thanks so much to [info]coriande, who created stunningly beautiful art that surpassed my wildest expectations. She created gorgeous visual art, as well as a mixtape which somehow managed to capture both the theme of my story, as well as touch my heart. Thanks so much for giving me my summer theme music, [info]coriande!

You can see the beautiful art created for this work [here](http://coriande.livejournal.com/4922.html).

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 _Finished recording in Nashville.  Miss you.   Can I come?_

The text hit Kris in the pit of the stomach.  It was a visceral ache, bringing to mind emotions he thought were long buried under the day to day weight of living.  
 _  
I'm six hours away,_ Kris texted back, slowly, his hands unused to the small keyboard.

 _Don't care_ , came the answer almost immediately.  
 _  
Don't drive a sports car.  Get something with some tractio_ n, Kris answered.  
 _  
K.  Be there in six hours._

Kris stared at his phone, disbelieving.  For a moment, he was brought back to a time and place far away, under bright lights.

***

 _May 2009_

 _"The first person into the finals is...Kris Allen!"_

 _Kris' mouth dropped, shocked.   Blindly he turned, embraced by strong arms and enveloped in the scent of cologne.  He pressed his face into that familiar shoulder, sure there was no place he'd rather be._  
***

"Kris? Kris?"

Kris blinked, looking up.  He pushed his rolling chair back from the beat-up desk, tearing his eyes from his phone's small screen.

"Yeah, Stephanie?" Kris said, forcing himself to focus his eyes on the speaker in front of him.

"The next patient's here.  And Steve wants you to look over this statement about the kids' asthma cases for the injunction hearing tomorrow ," Stephanie answered, tossing a folder onto the desk.  "Hey, you ok?   You look like you've seen a ghost."  Stephanie stared in concern, her hands on her solid hips, her graying hair, as  always, falling from its ponytail.

"Yeah...just sort of a blast from the past," Kris answered.

"Oh, from your rock star days?" Stephanie grinned.  "Well, Rock Star, you've got vomiting and mouth blisters waiting in the exam room."

"Great," Kris rolled his eyes.  "On my way."  His shoes squeaked on the worn tile floor as he left the office, his phone forgotten on the desk.

***

 _May 2010_

 _Kris stood backstage at the Nokia theater watching as the confetti fell, covering the newest Idol winner.  As he began to sing the latest of the atrocious coronation songs, Kris turned.  No one was watching as he left the theater alone._

***

Kris sat alone in a quiet booth in the corner of the bar.  Classic rock played on the radio as he picked at the label on his beer bottle.  He didn't know why, exactly, he'd told Adam to meet him here--except this was where he spent all of his evenings.

"Hey," came a familiar voice.

Kris looked up.  He couldn't keep the grin off his face as he took in the familiar figure.  Adam was dressed in a leather jacket, plain t-shirt and jeans, his hair hanging unstyled in his eyes.  But his hair was the same jet black, and the smile he gave was like coming home.

Kris stood, throwing himself into Adam's arms instinctively.  Adam's scent was the same as he buried his face into his old spot against Adam's chest.

"Hey, I've missed you, too, man," Adam said, looking around a little nervously as he eased Kris back down into his seat and slid onto the bench across the table.  "Not sure this is the place for bromances, though."

"Huh?" Kris asked distractedly, his eyes focused on Adam.

Both of them looked up as a broad-shouldered man approached.  The man looked unkempt and tired, dark circles under his eyes. 

"Doc Allen," the big man said in a rough, scratchy voice.  "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I just wanted to let you know that Destiny's doing better.   That new inhaler seems to be working for her."

Kris smiled.  His whole demeanor changed as he spoke to the man.  "That's great to hear, John.  Get her and both your other girls in to the clinic for flu shots next week, huh?  Flu season's coming faster than you think."

"Will do," John answered with a smile that revealed a mouthful of missing teeth.  "Enjoy your evening."

Adam stared confusedly as John walked away.

"Wait a minute.  I thought you were a nurse," Adam said.  "I mean, you've been out of contact, but how did I miss you going to medical school?"

"I'm a nurse practitioner, Adam," Kris answered.  "That's the closest thing to a doctor this town has.  I can't get them to call me Kris, so Doc Allen is what I get." 

"Wow..." Adam breathed, looking around the bar.  "So, this is..."

"This is what I do, Adam," Kris answered a tad impatiently.  "I'm sorry if it's not glamorous enough for you, but you're the one who insisted on coming.”  Kris sipped at his beer, cocking his head at Adam.  “Why do you look like so jumpy, anyway?  Everybody here isn’t a redneck, ready to beat you up ‘cause you wear eyeliner.”

"Wait, no," Adam said, looking at Kris.  "I was just going to say this is...different."

Kris looked around the bar.  The booths and stools were worn and stained.  The few people in the bar looked tired and older than their years, somehow.  They mostly sat on stools at the bar, nursing bottles of beer.

Kris laughed.  An image of Adam, dressed in a crazy outfit, gyrating wildly to the beat in the midst of a crowd of people on a dance floor came to mind.

"Yeah.  Yeah, it's different, all right," Kris answered, downing the last of his beer and tossing a few dollars on the table.  "Let's go.  You are staying, right?  Well, you are.  There's no hotel here."

"Can't imagine there would be," Adam mumbled, following Kris out the door.

"Where'd you park?" Kris asked.  "I walked here."

Adam clicked his keys and the lights flickered on a nondescript car.

"Get in and tell me where we're going," Adam said.

"Hey, Kris?" Adam asked as he started the car. "If I ask you something, will you promise not to get mad?"

"Maybe," Kris answered warily.

Adam stared at him, grinned and shrugged.  "I guess that's as good as I'm going to get," he said.  "So....why doesn't anyone in there have any teeth?"

Kris groaned, rolling his eyes.  "No, I get there's probably no dental care, no six-month cleanings, but..."

Kris looked at Adam with less wariness.  This wasn't just an Appalachia joke.

"The dental care's always been a problem, of course," Kris began.  "Turn right here--we get a mobile dental van in every three months, that's been helping--now a left--first house on the right."

"Anyway," Kris continued as Adam pulled into his driveway.  "The kids we've almost got a handle on, but the adults just need a ton more work than the mobile lab can handle.  And there's the meth problem."

"Meth?  Like crystal?" Adam asked, shutting off the car, an image of tweaked out club kids coming to mind.

"Yeah.  Well, sort of.  People make it in their garages, in their cars sometimes.  Once in a while even in their kitchens.  It's nothing but toxic shit--and one of the side effects is rotted teeth.  Meth mouth, they call it," Kris said.

"Gross," Adam said faintly.

"Yeah," Kris answered, opening his front door and turning to look at Adam.  "Hey, you ok?"

Adam was sagged against the door jam, looking white.

"Yeah, just tired," he answered.

"Come in, sit down on the couch," Kris said, throwing a arm around Adam's shoulders.  He led Adam to the couch unprotesting and deposited him on the hard cushions.

Kris went to the kitchen, coming back with a glass of water, which Adam drank gratefully.

Kris knelt in front of Adam, looking into his face with concern.  "You ok, really?" Kris asked.

"Yeah," Adam said, trying to smile.

"Like hell," Kris said.  "You're still white as a sheet."

Kris reached behind him under an end table and pulled out a bag.  From it, he retrieved a blood pressure cuff and a stethoscope.

"Hold out your arm," Kris commanded.

Adam rolled his eyes.

"Just do it.  Humor me, huh?" Kris said.

With a sigh, Adam shrugged off his jacket, holding out his arm.

"Thank you," Kris said simply as he wrapped the cuff around Adam's arm.

Adam watched Kris pump the cuff and let the pressure slacken.  Kris listened for a moment and nodded, then adjusted the stethoscope's earpieces.  He looked inquiringly at Adam, who once again rolled his eyes, but made no complaint as Kris placed the instrument against his chest.

"Last time I saw you, the only instruments you knew were the guitar and piano," Adam murmured.

"Still do.  Well, the guitar, anyway," Kris said, gesturing at the case in the corner of the living room.  "Lean forward, will you?"

Adam leaned forward obediently, allowing Kris to place the stethoscope against his back.  Kris frowned, noting the thinness of Adam's frame.

Kris took the stethoscope out of his ears, flopping next to Adam with a sigh.

"What have you eaten today?" Kris asked.

"Um," Adam struggled to remember.  "I had a doughnut and coffee for breakfast.   Then a bag of Funyuns around lunch.  Those are pretty gross, you know?  And I drank a 44 ounce Diet Coke to stay awake on the way here."

Kris rolled his eyes.

"Taking great care of yourself, aren't you, Lambert?" Kris groaned, getting up and heading to the kitchen.

Adam followed, leaning over Kris' shoulder as he opened the fridge.  He stared at the shelves, taking in the case of beer, the half a stick of butter on a plate, and the bottle of ketchup.

"Look who's talking, Kris."

Kris groaned again as he turned to look at Adam.  Their eyes met as they both burst out laughing.

"What's the chance of a sushi place being open in this town this time of night?" Adam asked, grinning.

Kris rolled his eyes again.  "I'll get some groceries in the morning," he sighed, closing the fridge door.

"Ok," Adam shrugged.  "You got an extra blanket?" he asked, making a move back toward the couch.

"Adam...you look like you haven't slept in forever.  Just sleep in the bed with me, it's not a big deal."

Adam hesitated.

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"Yeah," Kris said, running his hand tiredly through his hair as he turned toward the tiny bedroom.

***

 _September 2009_

 _"Hey, Adam?" Kris said._

 _"Yeah?" Adam turned his head to look at Kris, who was resting his head on his shoulder._

 _"Oh, nothing."  answered.  "I guess I just wanted to be sure of you."_

 _"Are you really quoting Winnie-the-Pooh at me?" Adam cocked an eyebrow as he spoke._

 _Kris gave a small grin._

 _"Yeah.  I just want to know it won't ever change, I guess."  Kris' eyes were wide and wondering._

 _"You and me, we're never gonna change," Adam said._

 _On impulse, Kris raised his head and pecked a small kiss on Adam's lips--barely a brush of skin against skin.  Kris pulled back and looked at Adam.  Adam's eyes were wide.  His mouth opened as though he were going to say something.  Kris laid an index finger against Adam's lips._

 _"Shh," he said, burying his face in Adam's shoulder.  "Just...shh."_

***

Adam lay stiffly under the covers as Kris puttered around, shutting off lights and locking the door. He looked around the room curiously.  The walls were plain with no decoration.  Kris' glasses rested on the nightstand on top of a hard cover book.   Piles of dirty clothes littered the floor.  Something long stuck partially out from under one of the piles.  Adam leaned up on his elbow and finally identified the object as a baseball bat.

Kris entered the room, dressed in a t-shirt and boxers.

"Ok if I shut off the light?" he asked.

"Yeah, but don't trip over that bat," Adam answered.

"Oh...yeah."  Kris leaned over, picking up the bat and setting it down next to the bed.  He lay down with a sigh.

"So--you've developed an obsession with baseball, then?" Adam asked.

"Not exactly," Kris laughed half-heartedly.

Adam waited a moment, but Kris said no more.

"Ok...new subject, then," Adam said.  "Not to quote an old song or anything...but there's an elephant in this room."

Kris huffed at this.

"Just say what you need to say, Adam, will you?"

"Fine.  Where's Katy?" Adam asked bluntly.  "Because it's pretty obvious she hasn't been here in a while."

Kris lay on his back, staring at the ceiling.

"What do you think, man?  There's no more money, there's nothing here but coal and dirt and poverty.  She had enough, that's all."

"So, why are you here, then, Kris?" Adam asked, turning toward him.

"Because it's where I'm supposed to be," Kris said flatly.  "A better question is--why are you here?"

Adam sighed at this, rubbing his face.

"Maybe I'm supposed to be here, too," he answered, closing his eyes.

***

 _Three weeks earlier_

 _The music thumped as Adam gyrated wildly on the dance floor.   He felt in love with the entire world, the music flowing through his body._

 _A body came up behind him, dancing close.  He turned to see who was there, recognizing Brad’s familiar figure, dressed in a skin-tight, bright green costume.  Adam wrapped his arms around Brad, laughing wildly as he moved his hips against Brad’s._

 _“Hey, honey.”  Brad’s body moved with Adam’s as he leaned close to speak.  “I think we’re gonna get going.”_

 _“Too early, man,” Adam shook his head, still lost in the beat.   He swayed a little, Brad catching him as he lost his balance._

 _“Hey, easy there.  How many have you had tonight?”_

 _"Oh…” Adam continued dancing, closing his eyes and throwing back his head.  “Just a few--maybe 2...or 3...or 10.  But don’t worry, I took my vitamin E.”_

 _"Honey, I gotta go.  Scott’s ready.  He’s gotta be up tomorrow.  You gonna be ok?”_

 _"I’m just fiiiiiiine,” Adam sang, still weaving a bit._

 _Brad stared, shook his head.  “You’re pathetic, you know that?”  He planted a quick kiss on Adam’s cheek before turning on his heel and walking over to a man at the bar, who wrapped his arm around Brad’s shoulder.  Without a look back, the two men left._

 _Adam blinked, staring after them.  He swayed a little, trying to get back into the music.  Soon, a young man--a boy, almost--approached, dancing close.  Adam pulled him closer, thrusting his hips into the stranger’s.  The boy was small, slight, with brown eyes and a ready smile.  He moaned as Adam rubbed his hand across his ass._

 _“Take me home,” the boy shouted over the music.  “Fuck me until I scream.”_

 _Adam smiled slowly, seductively.  “Anything you need, Baby,” he said._

 _“I’m gonna get fucked by Glambert,” the boy crowed._

 _Adam blinked.  “Adam.  My name’s Adam,” he said, pulling back from the boy.  Suddenly, all he could feel was the other man’s sweat, alien on his skin.  He looked around the club, feeling oddly sober.  He saw no one he knew among the mass of bodies.  Swaying a little, he pushed away the boy’s arm, heading for the exit.  The security crew knew him, and knew what he needed.  They had already called for a car to come get him.   Adam climbed in the back of the anonymous car, staring out into the streetlights._

***

Adam woke with sunlight shining through the window and an empty bed.  Sighing, he roused himself enough to head into Kris’ kitchen. 

Kris was nowhere to be found, but there was a box of some healthy-looking cereal and a bunch of bananas on the counter.  Beside them was a note.  
 _  
Eat something.  Milk’s in the fridge.  Sorry about the car._

Adam blinked at the note.  _Sorry about the car?_   He shrugged it off, grimacing at the meager breakfast choices.  Kris ought to at least know he preferred his cereal artificially colored and sweetened.  Hell, he did know.  Stubborn little shit.

Adam showered and dressed, coming back out to roll his eyes once again at the loathsome cereal.  Well, there had to be at least a little dive restaurant in this town.  Adam grabbed the keys to the rental car, throwing his jacket on to head outside.

Adam stopped in disbelief, staring at the rental car in the driveway.  It seemed to sag a little--and no wonder, Adam thought, as his eyes were drawn to the slashed tires.  There was nothing subtle about this job--the tires looked as though an angry dinosaur had tried eating them for lunch.  He circled around the car--not a single tire had escaped the treatment.

Adam glanced around, trying to get his bearings.  Kris’ street went slightly uphill.  It was lined on both sides by nondescript, tiny houses with equally tiny yards.  Adam started to walk back in the direction they’d come from the night before--Kris had said he’d walked to the bar they’d met at, it couldn’t be so far into the business district.

Adam approached what looked like it must be Main St.  There was the bar from the night before, a gas station with two dilapidated pumps, and a small white church.  As for the rest of the street--well, it looked mainly like boarded-up store fronts.  He turned left, walking down the street.  As he expected, there was a restaurant amongst the boarded up buildings.  He opened the door to find a mostly empty room.  He hesitated by the door, a little unsure.

“Sit wherever, hon,” a waitress called from near the register.  “I’ll be right with you.”

Adam sat at a table near the front window.  Just like the bar last night, the place seemed worn out.

The waitress approached, setting a glass of water in front of him and pouring some coffee.  “What can I get you?” she asked.

Adam ordered the greasiest breakfast he could think of, and was soon rewarded with a plate the size of his head full of eggs, hash browns, and bacon.

“Thanks,” he mumbled, giving the waitress a small smile.

“No problem,” she answered.  “Give a holler if you need anything else.”

Adam glanced around the restaurant as he ate, smiling at the artwork on the walls--Artwork by Kettle Lake Elementary Students, a sign proclaimed.  He pushed his chair back from the table with a sigh, unable to finish the last few bites.  Picking up the check, he approached the register.

“Everything all right?” asked the waitress as she rang up his bill.

“Wonderful, actually,” Adam answered, giving her a big smile.  “Hey--can you tell me where the clinic is?”

At this, the woman narrowed her eyes.  “You a friend of Kris Allen’s?”

“Yes,” Adam answered, wondering what Kris could’ve done to piss off the woman.

“It’s two doors down--but you ain’t gonna find him there this morning,” she snapped.  She slammed the register drawer closed, handing Adam his change with finality.  “Have a good day.”

Adam left the restaurant, more confused.  At a loss at what to do, he continued down the street, stopping under the sign that said Rock River Mountain Health Center.  A smaller sign on the door announced that the clinic was closed.  Adam tried the door, anyway, finding it open. 

“Hello?” he called, looking around the small waiting room.

“We’re closed, you’re going to have to come back tomorrow, unless it’s an emergency, in which case--” The speaker, a stout woman with graying hair in a no-nonsense ponytail interrupted herself.  “Oh.  You’re Adam.”

“Yeah,” Adam smiled, stepping into the waiting room and letting the door close behind him.  “How did you know?”

“We do get television and radio and high-speed internet here, you know,” the woman snorted.  “And I work with the rock star turned do-gooder.”

“Yeah…speaking of him--is he here?” Adam asked.

“No, of course not.  Not today.”  The woman looked at him with disbelief.

Adam sighed, sick of missing something that everyone else seemed to be in on.

“Listen, Stephanie,” he said, reading the woman’s name on the tag on her scrubs. “Can you just tell me where Kris is?  I came here to see him, and I know he’s got to work and he can’t just entertain me, but my car’s tires were slashed, and I need to find out how to deal with that and--”

Stephanie cut him off with a low laugh.  “You park in his driveway?”

“Well--yeah,” Adam answered.  “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Can’t believe he didn’t warn you,” she muttered.  “He must’ve been out of it last night.”

“Listen, Adam,” she said abruptly.  “You should know some things, if you’re gonna be here.  And I’m just enough of a meddling bitch to tell you.

“Come on back,” she said with a toss of her head.  “Join me in the back office.”

Stephanie leaned back in a beat-up rolling chair, gesturing to the folding chairs in front of the old desk.  Adam sat, waiting for her to begin.

“So, I suppose you’ve noticed that no one in this town’s got anything, right?” Stephanie began.

“Yeah, of course,” Adam answered, looking down at his designer boots a little guiltily.

“Yeah.  Well, ok, so no one has anything and so they don’t have any power.  The only people that have any power around here are the coal companies.  What money there is comes from mining.

“Some of the families here are fourth generation miners.  Coal’s what they know.  And so they do what the company tells them.  And they don’t argue.

“Problem is, the company’s here to make money, plain and simple.  And they don’t care what lives they ruin in the process.”  Something went dark in Stephanie’s eyes as she said this.

“You ever hear of mountaintop removal mining?” Stephanie asked abruptly.

Adam shook his head.

“Well, it’s what you’d expect from the name.  Basically, they come in, blast the Hell out of the top of a mountain, dump the fill into the next valley over, take the coal that’s there, and then dump some fill back, complete with all the leftover toxins.  Vegetation gets destroyed, the creeks get filled in, floods take out communities that have stood for a couple hundred years.  They did it to a mountain just over the border in Kentucky and it caused a boulder to break loose--damn thing went rolling down the hill at 2:00 a.m., went straight through the side of a house, killed a seven-year-old girl sleeping inside.” 

Adam looked out the office window uneasily, staring up at the mountain that loomed over the town.  Stephanie followed his gaze.

“Yep, Rock River Mountain’s the next on the list,” Stephanie said flatly.   “That’s where your boy is this morning--over at the courthouse, testifying to try and stop the company.”

“Hang on--he’s not my boy,” Adam said.  “I don’t know what you’ve heard, or seen on the Internet, or whatever, but Kris and I aren’t…we never were.”

Stephanie smiled at him--a little condescendingly, Adam thought.

“That’s not what Katy said when she left,” Stephanie answered, standing up abruptly. 

“Look, I have stuff to do--I’ve got to get the mobile clinic stocked for tomorrow.  You wanna hang out, you can help me load it up.”

Adam followed Stephanie to the back of the clinic, at a loss as to what else to do.  She loaded his arms up with boxes and, picking up a large load herself, headed toward the back door.  The heavy load felt good to Adam, made him feel grounded in a way he hadn’t in a long time.

Stephanie kicked open the door with her foot, revealing a giant motor home parked behind the building.

“You can set that stuff right here,” Stephanie said, setting down her own load of boxes with a grunt.

“What is this thing?” Adam asked.

Stephanie’s expression changed.  “Want a tour?” she asked.

Without waiting for an answer, she unlocked the door and stepped inside.  With the first smile Adam had seen out of her, she grabbed his hand and pulled him up the steps.

Inside the motor home was a modern-looking clinic, complete with a tiny exam room, an even smaller lab, and a portable x-ray machine.  As Stephanie excitedly explained each feature, lapsing into medical jargon, Adam’s mind began to wander.  He compared the shiny mobile clinic with the threadbare building he’d just left.

“So, the mobile clinic lets us reach communities that just don’t have regular health care,” Stephanie was saying.  “Kris or I take it out on a rotating basis to lots of different towns in the area--actually, he’s leaving tomorrow for one of the most remote spots we serve, up on the ridge.”

“So, uh, how do you pay for something like this?” Adam asked.  “Are there grants or something?”

Stephanie smiled and shook her head.

“I’m not supposed to talk about that, either, but when did that ever shut me up?” she asked rhetorically.  “Let’s just say an anonymous donor we both know and love made a generous contribution.”

Adam just shook his head, mentally picturing all the random stuff he’d bought in the past five years.

***

 _March 2010_

 __Great job with the shoes! _Adam texted quickly to Kris, as he finished skimming the article that had come up on Google about Kris’ work in Rwanda.  He had just about forgotten about it until a few hours later when a text came in from Kris.  
_  
I guess.  There’s just so much more to do here _.  
_  
You did good work.  Both of you _.  Adam added the second part slowly, picturing Kris with Katy.  He closed his eyes, making a small wish, immediately wanting to take it back._

 _Adam waited for a reply that did not come.   Eventually, he tucked his phone in his pocket, leaving to shop with a couple of new friends on Rodeo Drive._

***

“Stephanie…” Adam asked slowly, as he unpacked supplies into the cupboard Stephanie had directed him to.  “What happened to Katy?”

Stephanie turned in the small space to look at him.  “What’d he tell you?”

“Nothing, really--just said she’d had enough,” Adam answered.

Stephanie nodded slowly.  “That’s true enough, as far as I know.”

“But there’s got to be more than that.  Fuck, she followed him to Hollywood, on tour, then out of Hollywood and through nursing school and into the mountains…what could’ve made her leave after all that?” Adam frowned in frustration. 

“Look, Adam,” Stephanie began.  “I think you’ve maybe found my limit.  Katy’s a sweet girl and she did tell me some things while she was here.  I’m not comfortable sharing all of it…But I think ultimately Kris just couldn’t give her what she needed.  He’s always on a quest to do more, to solve everything.  That wasn’t the problem for Katy--she’s like that, too, you know.”

“No, I didn’t know,” Adam said quietly.  He’d never really let himself get to know Katy--some things were just too painful.

“Well, she is,” Stephanie said.  “I think people look at her, all blond and pretty and tiny, and miss what’s really there…

“Anyway,” Stephanie continued.   “She stayed about eight months.  Helped at the clinic a lot, tutored kids, worked at some community organizing.  But Kris just…looked right through her.  Like she was invisible, you know?  When she left, she told him she just couldn’t take the isolation.  Kris would like to think it was the mountains--but it wasn’t.  It was him.

“But you know that,” Stephanie’s eyes met Adam’s as she said this.  “Kris left his music for lots of reasons.  And one of them--” Stephanie’s voice dropped as she continued.  “--was you.”

Adam stepped back, nearly knocking himself out on the cupboard door as he did so.

“You’re so wrong,” he said flatly, as he held his bruised head.  “Ow…” he moaned, jerking away from Stephanie’s attempt to look at it.

“Kris never cared about me like that…I thought maybe…but he was married…and then the tour ended.  I thought I meant something to him, but then there was just a text here and there, and then nothing.”  Adam blinked back tears, still holding the back of his head.

Stephanie just looked at him, her gaze unwavering.  Adam looked away, and when he looked back at her, she had turned away, back to organizing her cupboard.

***

 _May 2010_

 _Adam dropped his phone in frustration as yet another call to Kris went unanswered.  He sent a hasty text._

 __Weird stuff being printed about you after the Idol finale.  You ok? __

 _There was no reply._

 _Adam glanced at the time, groaning as he rushed off to rehearsal.  
_  
***

Stephanie tossed the last of the cardboard boxes out of the mobile clinic’s door.  Adam began breaking down the boxes as she carefully locked up the motor home.

“So, how come the tires on this thing don’t get slashed?” Adam asked.

Stephanie shrugged.  “We’ve wondered the same thing.  Best we can figure is that whoever’s doing that stuff recognizes the good the mobile clinic does.  Makes me think it’s somebody local, not some goon the company brought in.  Kind of makes me madder, actually.”

“Stephanie…is he actually in danger?” Adam asked.  “He sleeps with a baseball bat next to his bed…”

Stephanie’s eyes lit at this bit of information.

“Dude, I did not sleep with him!” Adam said in exasperation.

“Wouldn’t be any business of mine if you did,” Stephanie answered. “But…” she wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Adam rolled his eyes at this.  “Kris doesn’t need my shit,” he said flatly.  “I’m barely taking care of myself.”

“Well, then, that’s another thing you two have in common,” Stephanie answered.  “You notice how much beer he goes through?”

“To get back to your original question--” she continued, “I don’t know.  I would’ve said no, until my kids found our dog dead in our yard.”

“Somebody killed your dog?” Adam said, disbelievingly.

“Yeah.  Poisoned.  Had to be deliberate, she didn’t run loose.  That was a month ago this coming Monday.  It was right about when the AP finally picked up the story about the elementary school--the reporter quoted me in the story.  The kids came home and found her--just gone.  I’ve never heard my son so upset…”  her voice trailed off.  “Well.  We keep the cat inside now, and I pick up the kids after school.”

“What’s wrong with the elementary school?” Adam asked, not sure he wanted to hear the answer.

“It’s not the school…it’s the coal slurry above it--this toxic shit that’s left over after they’ve taken what they want.  It’s in a reservoir above the school.  If the dam broke…” Stephanie stopped and shook her head.

“But you can’t just keep shit like that by a school.  There’s got to be laws, regulations, something…” Adam said.

“Power.  It’s all about who has the power,” Stephanie answered, as she tossed the last of the flattened boxes into the dumpster behind the clinic.

The clinic felt different as they walked back in.  It was still quiet, but felt…occupied somehow.  Adam followed Stephanie, stopping abruptly at the darkened office.

Kris sat at the desk, his head in his hands.

“Kris?” Adam asked.

“Adam,” Kris said, looking up.  “I’m sorry about the car, man, it’s my fault.”  His eyes looked empty as he said this.

“Fuck the car,” Adam answered.  “What happened?”

At this, Kris stood, moving in swift, angry motions.  He turned, sweeping the books off the shelf behind the desk in one rage-filled movement.

The books hit the floor individually, each one making a new crash in the quiet room.

Stephanie shook her head at this.  “It was what we expected,” she said flatly.

Adam turned to glare at her as Kris continued to gaze emptily at the now bare shelf.

“Well, it was,” she said, looking at him defiantly.  As she turned away, Adam could see her face.  It was red and her eyes were filling with tears, betraying the emotion she was trying to hide.

“I’ve got to go pick up my kids,” she mumbled.  Kris just nodded, as Stephanie made her escape. 

“Come here,” Adam said reaching for Kris.  At his touch, Kris yanked his arm away.

Adam dropped his hand like it had been burnt.

“Fuck this,” he said.  He turned on his heel abruptly, leaving Kris alone in the clinic.  Kris sank slowly back down in his chair as he heard the front door slam.

***  
 _February 2010_

 _Kris sat at the end of the massive oak table, half-listening to some label guy drone on about album sales, profit margins, and image.  He glanced at his phone, distracting himself with Google News headlines.  
_  
Death Toll Continues to Rise in Haiti…Aid Slow to Reach Country __

 _“Kris?” one of the guys was looking at him._

 _“Yeah, sorry,” Kris said, making an effort to meet the man’s eyes._

 _“So, anyway,” the man continued.  “Your appearance on Idol is going to sell a lot of records and solidify your image.”_

 _Kris blinked at this.  “Excuse me,” he said.  “I need a minute.”_

 _Kris left the room, finding a quiet corner to make a phone call._

 _“Hi, hon,” Katy answered._

 _Kris sighed, relaxing against the wall as he heard her voice._

 _“Katy, I don’t know how much longer I can handle this,” he whispered.  “It’s all fake, all about selling things and image and…shit.  They want me to go to Haiti for a photo op.  That’s all it is.  Thousands of people dead and suffering and I’m supposed to go take pictures with smiling kids?”  Kris groaned, sickened inside._

 _Katy sighed.  There was silence on both ends of the phone._

 _“Kris…it’s just different from what you used to do.  You can do so much more for people by making the appearance.  Think how much more the money you raise can do than you can do volunteering for a week to build houses or clear rubble.  It’s just another way of helping.”_

 _“I know what you’re saying, Katy. So why do I feel like such a sell out?” Kris groaned._

 _There was only more silence at this._

 _“I gotta go.” Kris said._

 _“Ok.  Love you.”_

 _“Yeah.  Talk to you later,” Kris said, hanging up the phone abruptly._

 _Katy stared at her phone for a moment, before setting it carefully down on the table._

***  
Kris stared at the office wall for a few more minutes, unable to move.  Finally, he roused himself from his chair, leaving the clinic.  He walked the few blocks to his house, gaining more purpose as he walked.  He turned the corner on his street at a half-run, fearing he’d find nothing but more emptiness.

Kris slowed as he saw the figure sitting on his steps.

“Hey,” he said, slumping next to Adam on the stairs.

“Hey,” Adam answered, looking straight at Kris.

“So, I acted like an ass.  I’m sorry,” Kris said.

Adam shrugged, rubbing the toe of his boot in the dust by Kris’ step.

“Not like you asked me to come here, anyway.  You don’t owe me anything.”

“No, you pretty much just pushed your way into coming.  And you still have shitty timing, just so you know,” Kris answered.  He paused for a moment, shoving his worn Converse over to make patterns in the dust next to Adam’s foot. 

“But Adam?  Just so you know…I’m glad you’re here.  Even if I don’t know why.”  At this, Adam hesitantly reached toward Kris.  Kris took Adam’s hand without pause, intertwining their fingers.

“I called about your car during a court recess this morning. There’s a guy coming to get it tomorrow.  He had to pick up the tires in the next town over, but it’ll be ready to go by ten.  I mean, if you want to go.”  Kris’ eyes were focused on his hand, wrapped in Adam’s.

“What would you say if I told you I didn’t?” Adam asked.  Kris could hear a bit of the old teasing in this, felt some of the easiness he used to share with Adam.

“Well, then, I’d say…I hope you’re ready to head up into the hills, L.A. Boy--because that’s where I’m going tomorrow.”  He looked up, brown eyes met blue, and for the first time in a long time, Kris felt like things might be ok.

***

It was still dark as Kris pulled the mobile clinic out of the parking lot and started heading up the winding road leading out of town.  Adam stretched his legs out in the passenger seat, getting comfortable for the long ride.

“So, where exactly are we going?” Adam asked.

“Up on the ridge,” Kris answered.

“The ridge?  The mountain that’s gonna be blown up?”

“No, not there.  This is east, not west.  You’re going to be bored, probably.  It’s a lot of routine stuff--lots of vaccines and diabetes screening and well child visits.”

“S’ok.  Maybe I need a little boredom.”

Kris glanced over, smirking a little.  “Had a little too much fun lately?”

“Yeah.  No.  It’s not really any fun anymore.”

“What do you mean?  You love your life,” Kris paused, thinking.  “I’ve always envied you that.”

“Loved it, you mean,” Adam said quietly.

Kris shrugged, driving for a few moments in silence.

“Is the mountain thing a done deal?” Adam asked.

“Probably,” Kris sighed.  “There’s not much that can be done.  The courts won’t stop it.  When this has happened in other towns, people have tried some civil disobedience--chaining themselves to mining equipment, that sort of thing.  We could do that--Stephanie’s just itching to get herself arrested, except for her kids.  Bottom line is, though, it’s never accomplished anything beyond a few days’ delay.  No one cares.”

“I care,” Adam protested.

Kris grinned at him a little sarcastically. “And when did you develop this sudden passion for the mountains?”

“Ok, fine, I didn’t know about it until Stephanie told me yesterday,” Adam admitted.  “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care.  Or want to do something about it.  People just need to know, they won’t put up with this shit.”

“Adam, what’s more important to the average person? Cheap energy or kids in a place they’ve never been getting asthma?  The latest technology in their hands or a polluted valley in the middle of nowhere?”  Kris shook his head.  “Yeah, people support environmental policy in the abstract, but when it comes right down to it…well, we’re all selfish, that’s all.  We all contribute to it.”

Adam was silent, overwhelmed by the passion in Kris’ voice--and the kernel of truth that he couldn’t deny.

“Hey--” Kris said, reaching out a hand to touch Adam’s knee.  “I’m sorry.  I’m not always such a Debbie Downer.  It’s just--we’ve been working on that court case for months.  We knew it was an uphill battle, but…it’s just discouraging, is all.”

“So, Kris, here’s what I don’t get.  The people that are doing things like slashing my tires and making you think you need to sleep with a bat next to your bed--who are they?”

“There’s a few theories on that,” Kris shrugged.  “It could be guys the company pays to come in and harass us--hired guns, goons, whatever you want to call them--but I think it’s probably locals.  Might even be people that come into the clinic and are nice to us to our faces.”

“But why?  Obviously, this shit’s rotten for everybody.”

“ Same thinking as everyone else.  Yeah, they know it’s bad, but who signs their paychecks?  The company, that’s who.”

Adam exhaled slowly.  “Fuck…that’s true.”

“Yeah,” Kris sighed.

Adam took Kris’ hand in his.

“Do you know the Starfish Theory?” he asked.

“Huh?” Kris answered, turning the motor home onto a winding, uphill road.

“My drama teacher at the community theater when I was a kid had this story printed up on her wall.  It was about this old guy who would walk the beach every day and find starfish washed up on the beach.  They’d die, you know, if no one threw them back.  So he’d spend hours throwing them back, even though he couldn’t possibly save them all.”

“It was kind of cheesy, you know?  One of those posters teachers always have around trying to tell you to do your best, rah, rah, rah.  But I found out later that the thing was actually based on a real piece of writing.  It was from an essay by a guy--can’t remember his name--who was a poet and a philosopher and a scientist of some sort.  In the real story, there’s a guy who talks to the guy throwing the starfish and basically tells him it’s stupid--that no one wins but death.  And he walks away.  But then he thinks about it--and it’s really all about the process that the author goes through, sort of working through his problems between science and religion.  And at the end of it, he still knows it’s hopeless, but he says something like, ‘I understand.  Call me another Thrower.’  And the first guy’s not alone anymore, even though it’s all still sort of impossible.”

Adam leaned back and smiled, his eyes closed.  “I liked that version a lot better.  A lot more realistic.  Maybe you’re a thrower, too, Kris.”

Kris sighed.  “On my good days, maybe.  Not today.” 

Eventually, Adam pulled out his Ipod, zoning out to the music.  Idly, he watched the vegetation change as they reached a higher elevation.  Kris pulled onto a narrow road that he was surprised the motor home actually fit on.

“We’re almost there,” Kris said.  “This is the last road up to the ridge.  Actually, it’s the only road,” he remarked, as he slowed the vehicle to go over a one-lane bridge over a rushing creek.

Adam eyed the water under the bridge suspiciously.  “Isn’t that water awful close to the bridge?” he asked.

Kris shrugged.  “Didn’t used to be, until they blasted the mountain over there“--he pointed vaguely east--”two years ago.  Now the creek’s crazy full--and totally disgusting, by the way, with the fill dumped in the valley.  Stephanie used to live up here--her family had a place for years and years.  It flooded like seven times and the water was so polluted she ended up having to move down off the ridge.”

“No wonder she’s so pissed,” Adam said.

“Oh, yeah, she’s got her reasons,” Kris answered.  “She tell you about her dog?”

“Her kids’ dog, you mean? Yeah, she told me,” Adam answered with a grimace.  “People suck.”

“Yeah, they do,” Kris said, pulling into a small parking lot outside an equally small store.  “Here we are--this is home base for two days.  Help me set up, will you?”

As Kris got papers and medical supplies together inside the clinic, he directed Adam to raise an awning outside the vehicle.  Adam struggled for a few minutes with the unfamiliar equipment, frowning in concentration as he manipulated the poles.

“It goes this way,” a soft voice said.  A hand took the aluminum pole from him, flipped it around, and deftly fastened the end into the canvas.  “There.”

“Thanks,” Adam said turning to face the person.  Standing before him was a young woman, obviously late in a pregnancy.

“Let me grab you a chair,” Adam said, stepping into the clinic and grabbing a couple of plastic folding chairs stowed near the door.  He could hear Kris still bustling about in the tiny treatment room.

“Here,” Adam said, unfolding a chair for the girl.

“Thanks,” she said, settling into the chair with a sigh.  Adam opened a chair next to her, sitting down himself.

“Um, I think he’s not quite ready yet,” Adam said, feeling a little out of his element.

“S’ok, I’m early,” the woman said.  “I’m Ashley…Ashley Lance.”

“Nice to meet you,” Adam answered.  “I’m Adam.”

At this Ashley, looked at him sharply, her mouth turning up in a wide smile.

“Holy shit, you’re Adam Lambert,” she said.

“Yeah,” Adam grinned.

“What are you doing up here?” Ashley asked.  “No way…you’re still in contact with Kris?”

Ashley just kept grinning.  “I was fifteen when your first album came out.  I must’ve listened to it a hundred times.  I was sure you were the only person in the world who understood me--fifteen, you know.”

“Yeah, I know,” Adam answered.  “Only for me, it was David Bowie.”

Ashley shook her head.  “All I know about him is that he was the Goblin King.”

Adam laughed.  “Bowie made some unfortunate wardrobe choices in that movie.”

“Yeah, but it wasn’t about him, anyway,” Ashley answered.  “It was about the quest--about the girl being strong enough to save her baby brother.”

Adam grinned, enjoying this girl.  They chatted a few more minutes about the movies they’d loved as kids, the music they listened to, Ashley’s husband, and the classes she was taking online.  Finally, Kris came to the door of the clinic, dressed in scrubs and smiling at them.

“So…I take it you’ve met Adam, then?” he said to Ashley.

“Yeah,” she answered.  “You’ve been holding out on me.  I was already a little star-struck having a rock star as my doctor--you didn’t tell me you still had an inside track to a Glam God.”

“Not a rock star, “Kris answered automatically.  “Not anymore.  And I wasn’t sure I did,” he finished softly, his eyes going above Ashley’s head to meet Adam’s.

Let’s get you checked out and outta here,” Kris said briskly to Ashley, gesturing up the steps of the clinic. 

“Yeah,” she answered, turning back toward Adam as she climbed the steps.  “It was nice meeting you,” she said.

“Likewise,” Adam answered, giving her a little wave.  “Good luck.”

***  
Adam spent the morning mooning around the tiny community, and playing with his Ipod.  A steady stream of patients came and went from the clinic all morning long, though none after Ashley showed much interest in Adam. 

Adam was sprawled on the grass near the parking lot, having given up trying to keep his clothes clean, when Kris emerged in the early afternoon.

“Let’s get lunch,” Kris said.  “The guy in the store always feeds us when we come up here.”

Soon, Adam and Kris emerged from the store, stocked up with sandwiches, chips and drinks.  They ate in the chairs under the awning, swatting at the occasional mosquito.

“Humid as heck,” Kris observed as he balled up the trash from his lunch.  “I bet it’s gonna rain.”  Kris rose from his chair, heading back into the clinic.  Soon, he reemerged, wearing a giant backpack.

“Going somewhere?” Adam raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah.  You’re coming, too,” Kris answered. “We’re gonna go get some water samples from the creek, see if anything’s changed.  Help me with this backpack, will you?  Stephanie wore it last, and she’s a little…hippier than I am.”

Adam snorted, mentally contrasting Stephanie’s stout frame with Kris’ slender body. 

Kris stood patiently, facing Adam, as Adam tried to adjust the straps of the backpack.

“It’s supposed to be tight right above my hips.  It’s not a daypack--the weight’s supposed to be on my hips, not on my shoulders.  The shoulder straps aren’t even supposed to touch me,” Kris explained.

Adam tightened the strap at Kris’ midsection, his eyes lingering there.

“Tight enough?” he said at last, his hands resting on each side of Kris’ hips.

“Yeah…” Kris’ voice trailed off, his face uncharacteristically red.  “Let’s go,” he said, fastening the chest strap as he turned away.

Adam and Kris soon reached the creek, following along its twists and turns, stopping to fill small vials with water every few hundred feet.  They were mostly silent, having to concentrate too hard on walking through the brush to speak.

Finally, they reached a small clearing under a large tree and Kris called a halt.   He removed the backpack with a grunt, dropping it next to the tree.  Adam collapsed next to him with a sigh as each of them leaned against the tree’s large trunk.

Kris pulled out a water bottle from the side of the backpack, taking a few large swallows before passing it to Adam.

“So, why are you here, Adam?” Kris asked abruptly.

“What, I can’t come visit my friend?” Adam half-heartedly tried to brush off the question.

“Adam, I’m a lousy friend, a worse ex-husband, and what amounts to a barely functional alcoholic.  I’m nobody’s friend right now,” Kris said flatly.  “And I don’t deserve for you to chase after me.  If I’m the friend you’re counting on, your life must be shittier than I know.”

Adam rolled his eyes, looked as if he were going to say something, and then stopped.

“No shit…” Kris said.   “For real?”

Adam rubbed his hand along his face, leaving a trail of dirt from the creek across it.  Kris cringed, imagining the toxins Adam had just smeared across his skin, but resisted the urge to lean forward and rub it off.

“Look, I’ve got everything, right?” Adam said.  “Money, fame, the chance to do what I love--and, Kris, I will always love the music.  Always.”

His eyes met Kris’.  Kris had never had much of a poker face, and Adam could see a flicker of emotions at this.  Envy?  Loss?

“What?” Adam asked.

“Nothing.  We’re solving your problems right now,” Kris answered--somewhat snarkily, Adam thought.

“Ok, fine,” Adam continued with a roll of his eyes.  “So the first tour was great--except for this one fuck-up dropping out of my life and disappearing to go save the world or whatever, things were good.  Neil was on that tour, Brooke and Monte and some of my other old friends were there, Tommy and I had a blast, even if there wasn’t anything much there beyond what we did on stage…” Adam’s voice trailed off as he remembered.  “So, they all kept me grounded.  It was like a big giant party.”

“No one really had any expectations, you know?  Everyone knew it could go either way--I might be this big star or I might crash and burn.  And so we were on equal footing.

“God, Kris, that might be the last time I had real friends.” Adam turned to look at him, half-smiling.

“So, after that, things took off.  And those people--the ones that had been there since the beginning--they still treated me the same.  But people move on, you know?”

Kris nodded. 

“Anyway, Monte’s solo career took off and he gave up touring so much to be home with his kids…Tommy just…changed, don’t know how to explain it…”

“People got married.  They settled down.  Neil finally figured some shit out and started doing some kind of political work in D.C.  Danielle got sick of always getting my voicemail, I think.  She texts once in a while, but it’s not the same.  Even Brad--well, Brad will always be Brad, but he’s got Scott now.

“So, anyway, it’s like I got…left behind…” Adam’s voice trailed off.  “And there’s always somebody new, but it’s not the same.  I’m the boss now--never just Adam.”

“If I Had You…” Kris murmured.

“Yeah,” Adam smiled reminiscently.  “You ignored every message I left about being in that video.  Asshole.”

Kris shrugged at this.  “Yeah, well, we’ve kind of established that.”

“Anyway, I don’t play that song anymore,” Adam finished.  “Are we done out here?”  He eyed the sky with suspicion.  “I totally think it’s going to rain.”

“Yeah,” Kris said, shrugging the backpack back on.  “Let’s go.”

***

The clouds tore open as they left the path to the river and emerged back on the road.  Encouraged by a wicked gust of wind, Adam and Kris half-ran across the parking lot.

Kris dropped the backpack next to the door of the clinic. “Help me with the awning. It’s gonna blow off in this wind.”

By the time they had folded the awning down, Adam and Kris were soaked.  They climbed the three stairs into the vehicle quickly, dripping all over the floor.  Adam ripped off his shirt in frustration, feeling hot, wet, itchy and irritable.

“Still got the nipple rings, I see,” Kris said in a bland tone.

Adam looked at him sharply, only to see Kris hiding a grin.

“And what if I do?  And how do you know about my nipples anyway?

“Hey, do you follow me on Twitter?” Adam full-on grinned at Kris’ blush.  “You do!  You totally do!  I bet you’re in one of those fan communities, too.  Are you a Glambert or a Lambskank?”  Adam laughed hysterically at the idea.

“Neither!” Kris mumbled.  “I’m an independent.  And for that, I get the first shower.” 

Kris turned, shedding his own wet clothes as he stepped into the cubicle that passed for a bathroom.

“Oh, no way!” Adam exclaimed as the door closed in his face.  “At least let me have a towel.”

He flinched as the door came open just long enough for a towel to hit him full in the face.

“Thanks…I think…” Adam muttered, as he began to dry his dripping hair.

***

The rain continued to pour down as Adam finished his shower.  He emerged from the tiny bathroom, clad in a pair of briefs and a soft, old t-shirt.  Kris was settled into the tiny bunk, his glasses perched upon his nose, reading a thick book.  As Adam entered the tiny sleeping area, he moved over deliberately, making room.

“Guess you don’t usually bring guests with you on these gigs, huh?” Adam asked, folding himself into the small space.

“Naw, sometimes Steph and I both go, but one of us drives her Jeep separate,” Kris answered. 

“I bet she’s having a field day, picturing us up here,” Adam scowled.

“Huh?” Kris asked in confusion.

“Your dear friend Stephanie.  She thinks we’re getting it on--or at least that we should be,” Adam explained, deadpan.

Kris groaned, burying his head in his pillow.  “That’s Katy’s fault.”

“Huh?” Adam was confused now.

“Katy never believed me.  She told Stephanie you and I had had an affair.”

“Kris, that sucks,” Adam said heatedly, leaning up on one elbow.  “She really believed that?  How could she think that you and I….I mean, we wouldn’t…”

“Didn’t we, though?” Kris asked softly.

“No!” Adam answered.

“Adam, I know we didn’t…well, we did more than we should have, but you know…but in a marriage, you’re supposed to put the other person first.  They’re supposed to be the center of your world. We both know she wasn‘t, for me, that year,” Kris said.

“I knew it, she knew it…you probably knew it, too, if you’d let yourself think about it,” Kris continued.   He stopped for a moment, shrugging.   “Well, that’s just another in the long list of Kris Allen fuck-ups--can’t even manage to have an affair correctly.”  He laughed bitterly, rolling his eyes.

Kris reached up, turning out the light.

They lay on their backs, listening to the rain hit the roof for a few minutes.

“You wanna know why I’m here?” Adam’s soft voice broke the quiet.

“Yeah…” Kris whispered, rolling to face Adam.

Adam rolled on his side, too, so their foreheads were practically touching. 

“I’m here…because I have nothing out there.  I had to know…to know you were all right.  And to know…” Adam’s voice caught.  “To know if there was ever anything…if one of the most meaningful relationships of my life really existed or if I just made it up in my head… I mean, I thought Katy was still here, I never expected…”

“Expected what?” Kris whispered.

“There to be a chance,” Adam answered.

At this, Kris leaned forward, ghosting a kiss over Adam’s lips as he had so many years before in the mansion.  Just as before, Adam opened his mouth to speak. 

This time, Kris covered Adam’s lips with his own, shushing him with a long, powerful kiss.  Just as Adam began to respond, Kris pulled back.

“There is…” Kris whispered,  “…a chance.”

At this, Adam slowly smiled.  He reached out, took Kris’ glasses off his nose and placed them carefully under the bed.  As he rolled back over, Kris frowned.

“Adam,” he said.  “I can’t make any promises…”

“Me, neither,” Adam answered honestly.  “But I can tell you a secret.”

“What’s that?”

“It was never just a crush.”

Kris rolled his eyes.  “Well, duh,” he said.

At this, Kris kissed Adam fiercely, holding nothing back.  His tongue sought Adam’s as they each explored each other’s mouths.  Their hands roamed over each other’s backs, Adam grasping at the toned muscles of Kris’ back and Kris pulling upward, trying to get Adam out of the loose t-shirt he wore.

Adam half sat up, pulling the t-shirt over his head and throwing it to the floor. 

“Better?” he asked.

“Much,” Kris nodded, running his hands over Adam’s chest.  The rings in his nipples glinted in the soft light coming from the nightlight left on in the bathroom.  Curiously, Kris ran his hands over Adam’s chest, watching his nipples tighten as he grazed the metal.

“So, these do have a use beyond mere decoration, then?” Kris cocked an eyebrow. 

“You have no idea…” Adam stopped talking as Kris lowered his mouth to his chest, kissing and sucking at his nipples.  Adam fell backward onto the bed, pulling Kris with him.  As Kris continued his exploration of Adam’s chest, Adam worked at his boxers, pulling them down.  Kris kicked them off, and Adam grasped his ass, learning Kris’ shape as Kris moved against him.

Kris made his way slowly down Adam’s body, kissing down the too-thin abdomen.

“You need to eat more,” Kris paused long enough to say, looking up at Adam’s face.

Adam groaned.  “Can we save the physical for later?” he asked.

Kris cocked an eyebrow, but said no more as he made his way closer and closer to where Adam wanted him.  His hand grazed Adam’s cock as he reached lower still, running a finger around Adam’s opening.  Instinctively, Adam opened his legs further, giving Kris better access.

“Kris…I don’t have any…I’m not prepared.”

Kris crawled back up Adam’s body until his face was above Adam’s.

“Do we need protection?” Kris asked, looking into Adam’s eyes.

“Yeah,” Adam mumbled, looking away.  “I haven’t been…I mean, I’ve been safe, but…Kris, yes, we need protection.  I’m an asshole.”

“You’re not an asshole,” Kris said.  He planted a searing kiss on Adam’s mouth and then disentangling himself from Adam, made his way into the clinic.  Adam heard a muted curse and some drawers opening and closing before Kris made a sound of satisfaction and came back to the bed with his hands full.

“Maybe not the brands you’re used to…” Kris said, showing Adam the items he’d retrieved.  “But they’ll do.”

Adam grinned, reaching for Kris.  “Aren’t you the Boy Scout?” he said, wrapping his arms around Kris.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Kris muttered.  “We’ve got a pamphlet on how not to get your girlfriend pregnant, too, if you’d like to read it.”

“No thanks, think I read that one already,” Adam giggled.

The giggling ended in a soft sigh as Kris resumed his explorations of Adam‘s body.

Much, much later, Adam cuddled his head into Kris’ shoulder and the two fell asleep to the sound of the rain on the metal roof.

***  
They awoke with a start, to a loud banging on the door.  The rain had stopped, and moonlight streamed through the small windows of the motor home.  With a muffled curse, Kris  pulled his arm out from under Adam, gathering up clothes as he went to the door

Kris stepped out of the vehicle, speaking quickly to someone.  Soon, he returned, flipping on all the lights in the clinic and rummaging through equipment frantically, cursing quietly to himself. 

Adam quickly threw on some pants, joining Kris in the exam room.

“What is it?” he asked, still a bit sleep-confused.

“It’s Ashley--the girl from this morning, you know?” Kris answered, eyes wide as he continued throwing things into the backpack from the afternoon.

“What, the baby?” Adam asked.  “Shouldn’t she be in a hospital?”

Hospital or the birthing center, yeah,” Kris answered.  “Fucking bridge is out because of the fucking rain.  Her husband can’t get her down there.”

“Oh…” Adam exhaled slowly on the word.  “Have you ever delivered a baby, Kris?”

“I assisted at a few births during my practicum.  You know, my practicum in a hospital--supervised by people who knew what the fuck they were doing,” Kris answered, his face pale.

Adam pulled Kris into a quick hug as Kris scanned the tiny room for anything else he might need.

“You can do this,” Adam assured him.  Kris’ eyes met Adam’s for a moment as he pushed himself away. 

“Finish getting dressed,” Kris commanded.  “Hurry up.”

“Kris…I’ll only be in the way,” Adam answered.  “What the hell do I know?”

“Yeah, well, I could say the same thing,” Kris said shortly.  “Do this for me.  Please.”

Adam sighed, started to object again, and then turned, grabbing his last clean shirt from the bedroom.

Soon, they emerged from the clinic, where a young man waited in a truck for them.  They’d barely squished themselves in the cab, closing the door with difficulty, when he took off, leaving the parking lot with a squeal of tires.

“Joel, this is Adam,” Kris introduced quickly.  “I asked him to come because I might need help.”

Joel nodded at Adam shortly, his eyes on the narrow road.  His profile in the dim light looked so young to Adam--much too young for what was happening.  
 _  
Well, what is Ashley, like 20 or something?_ Adam thought to himself. _When I was their age, I hadn’t even figured out who I was yet…_

Joel’s face was young, but his hands looked worn--as if he’d already spent a lifetime working.

The truck tore up an anonymous two-track, stopping in front of a tiny wood-frame house.

“Go,” Joel said.

Kris pushed Adam out of the cab, in a rush to get in the house.  His sneakered feet slipped on the wet ground and he nearly took a header into the grass before regaining his footing and stepping onto the low porch.

“Ashley?” he called.

There was a faint reply from the house as Kris opened the door and disappeared inside.

Outside, Joel was slumped over the steering wheel.  Adam could see his lips moving as he muttered words not meant for Adam’s ears.

Adam grabbed the backpack out of the back of the truck, moving more carefully than Kris had toward the house.  He paused on the porch, not sure what to do.

“Kris?” he called.

“Adam,” came Kris’ voice.  “Do you have my stuff?”

“Yeah,” he said uncertainly.  “Do you want me to leave it on the porch?”

“No, bring it in,” Kris’ voice said exasperatedly.  Adam thought he heard a low girlish giggle at this.

Adam pushed open the screen door to find himself in a small kitchen.  A sad-looking mutt was curled under the table, wagging his tail hopefully at Adam’s entrance.

“In here,” came Kris’ voice impatiently.

Adam entered the bedroom cautiously.  Kris was crouched next to Ashley, sprawled out on the bed on top of a layer of clean sheets.  Ashley wore only a thin nightgown, and her face was covered in a sheen of sweat.  She smiled at Adam, though, as he came in the room.

“World sure is a funny place,” she said, cocking her eyebrow at him.  She looked as though she was going to say more, but her face screwed up in pain as a contraction hit her.

Kris held her hand through the contraction, reminding her to breathe.  As her body eased, Joel slipped in quietly behind Adam, settling himself at the head of the bed.  He took Ashley’s hand from Kris, running his other hand quietly through her hair.  She looked up at him gratefully, their eyes meeting.

Adam turned away, not sure he wanted to witness such an intimate moment.  He headed for the kitchen as Kris finished rummaging through the backpack and busied himself with something at the business end of the bed.

Adam sat at the table, the dog coming to lay its head in his lap.  He looked down at the animal.  The dog’s eyes were patient and his muzzle was gray.  His tail thunked slowly against the floor as Adam scratched absently behind his ears.  Adam sat for a few minutes, alone with his own thoughts.  He heard only a murmur of voices from the bedroom.

In a little while, Kris emerged, peeling gloves off his hands and discarding them in the trash. 

“She’s at eight centimeters,” Kris said, sitting down at the table.  “Her contractions are only two minutes apart.”

“So, what’s that mean?”  Adam asked, his hand still caressing the dog’s head.

“Means I’m gonna deliver this baby, I guess,” Kris answered shortly.  “There’s no way the water’s going down in time to get her out of here.”

“You can do it,” Adam said.

“Have to, won’t I?” Kris answered.  He pushed back his chair, heading back toward the bedroom.  “Adam…stay close, will you?”

“Of course,” Adam answered.  “But you can do it, Doc.”

Kris rolled his eyes.  “Kris…it’s just Kris.  Idiot,” he muttered, disappearing through the bedroom door.

For the next long while, Adam and the dog kept vigil at the kitchen table, Adam unable to concentrate on anything but the noises coming from the bedroom--an occasional cry from Ashley, what sounded like encouraging words from Kris, and Joel’s lower voice calming and soothing.

The pitch of Ashley’s cries changed, got more intense.  Adam could hear Kris encouraging her to bear down, telling her that it would only be few more minutes.

“I can see the head!” came Kris’ voice.  “Ashley, you’re doing great…one more push.”

Ashley groaned, and Adam’s head cocked, expecting to hear the cry of a baby.

Instead he heard Kris’ voice.

“Adam!” he called.  “Adam, I need you.”  The tone in his voice was raw, leaving no room for argument.

Adam just went, opening the door without thinking.

Ashley was propped up on the bed, Joel supporting her behind her back.  Her nightgown was hiked up above her waist, and Kris was kneeling on the bed between her knees.

Kris half-turned, looking at Adam, his face covered in sweat and blood where he’d rubbed his cheek. 

“The shoulder’s stuck!” he said.  “Get over here--right up next to her.”

Adam knelt on the bed next to Ashley, who was still trying to smile reassuringly through her fear.

“Ashley, hon, I’m going to push your thighs as far back as I can, so they’re almost next to your chest.  On the next contraction, I’m going to have Adam push down on your abdomen, ok?  It should shift the baby enough that we can get it past your pelvis.  Ok?”  Kris looked up, as he heard no reply.  “Ashley, you need to stay with us. Ok?”  His eyes met Ashley’s and she nodded.

“Ok,” Kris nodded back.  Gently but firmly he pushed on her legs, folding them back against her body.  Grabbing Adam’s hands in his own, he placed them on Ashley’s lower abdomen.

“When she pushes, you push, too,” Kris commanded.  “This is going to twist the baby’s body so the shoulder isn’t in the way anymore.  Ok?  Adam?”  Kris looked at Adam until Adam looked back at him, face pale but resolute.

“Ok…when you’re ready, Ashley,” Kris said.

The next contraction hit Ashley hard.  Adam could actually see it rippling across her belly like a wave.

With a grunt, Ashley gripped her husband’s hands, bearing down.  At the same time, Adam pushed as Kris had instructed.

Ashley screamed, Adam closed his eyes--and there was a cry of triumph from Kris, followed by the much higher-pitched cry of a newborn baby.

***  
Once again, Kris and Adam found themselves trudging through the forest.  After staying long enough that Kris was assured that both Ashley and her new little girl were going to be fine, they’d started walking down the road back toward the clinic, not wanting to pull Joel away from his family to drive them back.

Adam concentrated on placing one foot in front of another, exhausted but buoyed by the experience.  Ashley had hugged him as they left, laughingly teasing that she’d forever be looking for glitter on the baby’s face, given the circumstances surrounding her birth.

“You ok?” Adam’s voice broke the silence.

“Yes,” Kris answered shortly, his face set.

“Fucking shit!” he yelled suddenly, stopping in the middle of the road to kick a rock.

Adam stopped short, watching the rock fly and hit a tree trunk.

“Hey, Man, you’re the hero here,” Adam remarked mildly, cocking his head at Kris. 

“I’m not a hero.  Fuck, they shouldn’t have needed a hero,” Kris said passionately.  “If this place wasn’t so fucked up, she’d have had the care she needed.  If we hadn’t happened to be up here this week, they’d both be dead right now.”

Adam closed his eyes against an image--Joel, alone in that tiny kitchen with his aging dog.  He shook his head.

“But you were here,” he said, reaching out for Kris.

Kris jerked away.

“Nuh-uh, none of that,” Adam said softly, grabbing Kris more forcefully, wrapping his arms around him.

After a moment, Kris relaxed, his face buried in the same place he’d always planted it, against Adam’s shoulder.  A sob escaped him as the tension left his body.

Adam and Kris stood together in the middle of the road, surrounded by a forest and clouds of mosquitoes.  For a moment, time and distance seemed to recede.

“Adam…Adam,” Kris whispered, pulling back, his eyes red, but his breath calming.  He raised his head, capturing Adam’s lips in a kiss that felt like forever and goodbye all at once.

Adam pulled back, starting to speak. Kris put his index finger to Adam’s lips.

“Shh.  Just…shh for a little while,” Kris whispered.

Adam nodded, slipping his hand into Kris’.  Together, they walked down the road, one foot in front of another, one step at a time.

***  
Six Months Later  
  


Adam Lambert Set to Hit the Road With New Album, Old Friends  
 **Los Angeles Times** **\- 2 hours ago**  
Singer Adam Lambert will begin a tour to support his new album, _This Generation_ , in the spring.  Joining him will be several familiar faces that fans will remember from his first tour.  The star has this to say about his new tour.

“The last few years, I had really lost sight of what was important to me.  This tour’s going to be a little less fast-paced.  I’m taking a lot of people I really love along--my mom’s actually touring with me this time, as well as lots of people who knew me when I was just Adam.  We’re going to have fun, spread joy, and focus on what’s important--love and creativity and acceptance.”  
   
  
---  
  
Kris looked up from his computer as he heard his phone ring.

“Hey, I was just reading a blurb about the album,” Kris said into the phone.

“Yeah?” Adam answered.  “Did it sound ok?”

“Idiot,” Kris laughed.  “You always have those guys eating out of the palm of your hand.

“So, I have a news article to share with you, too, actually,” Kris added.  “I’ll send you the link.”

“Ok,” Adam answered.  “I gotta go--have a radio thing and then something else.  I was just calling to make sure we’re all set for next week, right?”

“Of course,” Kris answered.  “I gotta go, too--I’m little double-booked right now.” 

“What do you mean, you’re double-booked?” Adam asked.

Kris laughed.  “Read that link I sent you--you’ll see.  Love you.”

“Me, too,” Adam answered.  He ended the call, pulling up the link that Kris had sent him.

Local Woman Arrested for Trespassing  
 **Rock River Times** **\- 22 hours ago**  
A local woman has been taken into custody after a standoff lasting three days.  The woman, Stephanie Simms of Rock River, had climbed a tree atop Rock River Mountain, halting Case Energy’s mining work atop the mountain.

Simms was apprehended by police early this morning.  She is expected to be arraigned on trespassing charges later this week.

Case Energy says that the mountain top will be cleared by the end of the week.  The company expects to begin excavation using explosives later in the month.  
  
---  
  
Adam’s frown at the content of the article slowly turned into a smile as he looked at the accompanying photo:  Stephanie, perched defiantly on a makeshift platform high in a tree.

Adam squinted at the photo.  It was far away, but was Stephanie…? 

Adam let out a low giggle as he realized exactly what Stephanie was doing--giving the finger to the camera.

 _Go Stephanie!_ he texted to Kris.

There wasn’t an immediate reply.

***  
Adam was deeply engrossed in learning the new choreography for his tour, sweat pouring down his face, as he tried to follow Brooke’s practiced lead.  His phone rang, shrill and loud through the pounding beats.  “Hey,” he said into the phone, face lighting up.

“Go Stephanie?” Kris snorted.  “Sure, do you have any _idea_ how much work she’s left me with?  They aren’t letting her out until tomorrow, and then there’ll be court appearances and all sorts of stuff.  I tell you what, Adam--” 

Kris was interrupted by the sound of breaking glass. “Hang on, will you?”

“Yeah,” Adam answered, cocking his head.  He could hear Kris speaking to someone in the background.

“No, it’s ok--I’ll clean it up.  No, it’s all right--just go play for a while, ok?  I’m on the phone.”

“Ok, I’m back,” Kris said with a sigh.

“So, Stephanie figured out her childcare issues, then?” Adam could not conceal the glee in his voice.

“Yeah, they’re here.  So’s the cat.  And, Adam, I’m _allergic_ to cats.” Kris said mournfully.

“Hey, it’s all in service to the revolution, man,” Adam laughed.

“Ha.”

“Aw, you know you’re proud of her.”

“Maybe,” Kris conceded.  “But don’t tell her so.  Anyway,“ --his tone brightened a little--“She owes me big for this one.  I’m not setting foot in the clinic all the time you’re here.”

“Yeah, right, something will draw you in,” Adam said.  “But Kris,” Adam’s voice lowered.  “I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me neither.  Love you.”

“Love you, too.”

***  
One Week Later

Adam woke to sun shining on his face.  He rolled over, nearly falling off the narrow couch he was lying on.

“Hi,” Kris said in a quiet voice, looking down at him.  Kris appeared to have been awake for a while. He was dressed and smiling, holding out a cup of coffee which Adam took gratefully.  “Thanks.”

“Welcome,” Kris answered, nudging Adam’s feet aside so he could sit down.  “When did you get in last night?”

“Dunno, later than I meant to, didn’t want to wake you, so I just crashed on the couch.”   Adam massaged his neck, trying to get a kink out.  Kris reached over to rub it, hitting the sore spot with familiar ease.   “Thanks.  Are you ready for today?”

“Never been more ready,” Kris answered, his face breaking into a peaceful smile.

Ground Broke on New Elementary School  
 **Rock River Times** **\- 10 hours ago**  
A host of local dignitaries gathered yesterday afternoon to break ground on a new elementary school.  The school will replace Kettle Lake Elementary, which has been the focus of much concern because of its location below a coal slurry storage facility owned by Case Energy.

The ceremony was attended by many elementary students who brought art and sang songs to mark the occasion.

Also of note was a performance by Kris Allen.  Allen, 30, won the talent show American Idol in 2009, before changing careers to become co-director of the Rock River Mountain Health Center.  He shared that the song he sang, titled “Throwing Stars,” will be available on a independently produced album in June.  Allen has no plans for an extensive tour, citing commitments in Rock River.

“I may play a concert here and there,” Allen said.  “But my focus--my purpose--is here.”  
  
---  
  
****

Author's Note:

This story is fiction.  Mountaintop removal mining is not.  Please see [www.ilovemountains.org](http://www.ilovemountains.org) for more information.


End file.
